1 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:09,009 [theme music] 2 00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,619 - ♪ I'm goin' down to South America ♪ 3 00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,012 ♪ Have myself a time ♪ 4 00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:14,144 - ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 5 00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:15,667 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 6 00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:16,886 - ♪ I'm goin' down to South America ♪ 7 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,062 ♪ Leave my woes behind ♪ 8 00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:20,759 - ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 9 00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,587 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪ 10 00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:23,893 - ♪ I'm headin' on up to South America ♪ 11 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,895 ♪ See if I can't unwind ♪ 12 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:29,333 - ♪ [mumbling] ♪ 13 00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:30,291 - ♪ So come on down to South America ♪ 14 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,423 ♪ Meet some friends of mine ♪ 15 00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:36,166 ["Rock and Roll Part 2" by Gary Glitter] 16 00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:43,043 ♪ ♪ 17 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,137 [bell rings] 18 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:53,662 ♪ ♪ 19 00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:55,446 - Hey, guys, it's lunchtime! 20 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:56,752 And it's Wednesday. 21 00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:58,536 You know what that means? 22 00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:01,104 ♪ Sloppy joes! ♪ 23 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,584 - ♪ Hey! - ♪ It's sloppy joes ♪ 24 00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,890 ♪ Sloppy joes - ♪ Hey! ♪ 25 00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:08,459 - ♪ Sloppy joes, sloppy joes ♪ 26 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:11,027 Hey, Butters, you know what's for lunch today? 27 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,507 Sloppy joes. - ♪ Hey! ♪ 28 00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:13,508 ♪ ♪ 29 00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,597 ♪ Hey! ♪ 30 00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:17,816 - ♪ Sloppy joes - ♪ Hey! ♪ 31 00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:19,122 - ♪ Sloppy joes ♪ 32 00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:22,255 ♪ Sloppy joes, sloppy joes, sloppy joes ♪ 33 00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:24,345 ♪ Sloppy joes, sloppy joes ♪ 34 00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,695 ♪ Sloppy, sloppy joes ♪ 35 00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,827 - ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 36 00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:30,176 - Cuy? 37 00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,526 What the hell is cuy? 38 00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:35,486 Uh, excuse me, ma'am, 39 00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:36,922 the fuck is this? 40 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:38,620 It's supposed to be sloppy joe day. 41 00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,969 - Yeah, well, South America Elementary can't afford 42 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,711 the rising cost of beef, 43 00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:44,104 so you get cuy. 44 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:47,237 - What's cuy? - It's guinea pig on a stick. 45 00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:48,717 - Ew! 46 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:52,286 - No, it's Wednesday. I want my goddamn sloppy joe. 47 00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:55,593 - Well, then, go tell that to your goddamn politicians. 48 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,297 - [sniffs] 49 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,650 - I fucking hate South America so much, you guys. 50 00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,825 - How the hell do they expect us to eat this? 51 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,175 - I swear, the school lunches just keep getting 52 00:02:12,306 --> 00:02:13,524 worse and worse. 53 00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:15,309 - This whole stupid school keeps getting worse. 54 00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,441 - You guys, you guys, check it out. 55 00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:20,052 I stole Bebe's brainrot on "Roblox. 56 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,273 Look! It's a Chimpanzini Bananini! 57 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,840 - Oh, my God. 58 00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:26,102 - Check this one out. 59 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:29,671 Oh, oh, it's a Bambadilo Crocodilo! 60 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,108 - Nobody cares about Italian brainrot anymore, Dad! 61 00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:33,544 That's so last year. 62 00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:36,460 - Well, I'm sorry, Stan. I'm just trying to fit in, OK? 63 00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,549 You know, it's not easy being the new kid at school. 64 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,071 - Then you need to go fix your problem. 65 00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:41,552 Go see a doctor or something. 66 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,989 - You guys, the school has just murdered sloppy joe day. 67 00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:45,512 What are we gonna do? 68 00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:47,906 - Well, yeah, it's 'cause there's a national beef crisis. 69 00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,169 - What are you talking about? 70 00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,866 - I don't know-- fucking government 71 00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,650 can't figure out beef. 72 00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:54,652 So now I guess they're taking it from South America. 73 00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:57,002 That's why you gotta pack your own lunch. 74 00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:58,787 - The government's deciding what to do with our beef? 75 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,658 That doesn't seem fair. 76 00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,269 - Yeah, tell me about it. 77 00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:04,009 This whole town was built on the cattle industry, 78 00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:06,490 now we can't even afford it. 79 00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:09,885 - But then... who's eating our beef? 80 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,844 [jazzy music playing] 81 00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:16,457 ♪ ♪ 82 00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:19,155 - All right, folks, let me just mention our special 83 00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:21,026 that we're serving tonight. 84 00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:24,899 This is your extremely expensive Grade A5 beef 85 00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,292 from South America. 86 00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,077 - Oh. - Ooh! 87 00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:31,167 - South America is a small town in the Colorado mountains, 88 00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:33,691 and their beef is becoming very sought after. 89 00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:36,259 - Uh, I've heard that South American beef 90 00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:39,262 can give you kind of explosive diarrhea. 91 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:42,961 - Uh, it is sort of a richer beef, yeah. 92 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:45,486 Very buttery. Um, if you can afford it, 93 00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:48,750 it's a must-try. 94 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:52,406 - All right, folks, here's your A5 South American beef. 95 00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:55,104 There's a nice jus there on the side. 96 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,846 And you-- you can enjoy that with... 97 00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,848 a little peppercorn crust. 98 00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:03,068 Uh, I'll be back to see how those first bites are going. 99 00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:05,506 [whispering] Go, go, go, go. 100 00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:06,507 - Mmm! 101 00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,291 Ooh, very tender. 102 00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:11,468 It's very t--ah! [loud fart] 103 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,339 - Larry--ah! [fart] 104 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,733 - What, huh--oh, it is buttery. 105 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,909 [farts] Ah! 106 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,999 [farting] 107 00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:27,136 - Hi, folks, have you heard about our special? 108 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,529 ♪ ♪ 109 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:32,794 - So then I told the lunch lady-- 110 00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:35,231 I was like, "Hey, you guys better step it up. 111 00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:36,276 "I don't care if you can't afford beef, 112 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,582 we deserve good lunches at this school." 113 00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:39,975 I really read her the Riot Act, you guys. 114 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,237 It was pretty hardcore. 115 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:46,242 Ah, seasonal special. That sounds nice. 116 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,418 - Next! 117 00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:50,028 - Uh, yes, the, uh, seasonal special-- 118 00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:50,986 what is that today? 119 00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,161 - It's a fresh, local guinea pig 120 00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,990 on a honey-glazed stick. 121 00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,208 - Honey-glazed stick? 122 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,559 Fuck you. I don't want that! 123 00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:02,563 - Oh, well, then, we also have a braised macadamia nut 124 00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:05,348 guinea pig on a coffee-encrusted stick. 125 00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:08,351 - God damn it, we don't want guinea pig on a fucking stick! 126 00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,398 Utter fucking bullshit, you guys! 127 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,137 - This is so unfair! 128 00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,792 What the hell are we gonna do? 129 00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:17,228 - Let's just face it, you guys, no more sloppy joes. 130 00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:19,840 No more tacos. No more Salisbury steak. 131 00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:22,452 - You know who would've known what to do? 132 00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:24,759 Kenny. 133 00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,500 Kenny wouldn't have stood for this, 134 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:27,849 'cause he had to eat school lunches. 135 00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,154 'Cause he was poor! 136 00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:30,939 Kenny always knew what to do. 137 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:33,637 - Hey, dudes. 138 00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,335 I had a sweet idea. 139 00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:36,901 - Nobody cares. 140 00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:38,599 - OK, I just thought maybe 141 00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:40,296 we could get some beef for the school. 142 00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,472 - Wait, how. - Dude, don't engage him. 143 00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,169 - Well, why don't the four of us 144 00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:45,822 go talk to the local rancher? 145 00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,259 Find out what's happening to our beef, 146 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,392 and then maybe we can save our school! 147 00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:51,612 - Yeah, or maybe you could fuck off and go home. 148 00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,657 - You really think the rancher would listen to us? 149 00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,311 - I think it's worth a try. 150 00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:58,706 C'mon! Goonies can do anything. 151 00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:04,842 All right, Goonies, this is the place. 152 00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:07,323 - Dude, Stan, why does your dad keep talking about gooning? 153 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:08,716 - [chuckles] Good one, Chunk! 154 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,848 - You call me "Chunk" again, I'll kick you in the nuts. 155 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:13,895 - Afternoon, folks. 156 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,286 Here for some beef? 157 00:06:15,287 --> 00:06:17,333 - Yeah, we want beef for our school cafeteria. 158 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:19,596 - Tacos, Salisbury steak, sloppy joes. 159 00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,250 We want to know what the fuck is going on! 160 00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:24,645 - Well, the beef here in South America is the finest. 161 00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,255 For that premium flavor, 162 00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:28,649 all our cattle are massaged daily 163 00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:32,087 and fed a diet of grass, imported olives, and beer! 164 00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:33,480 - The cows get beer? 165 00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:35,612 - C'mon in and see if there's anything you like. 166 00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,143 - Wait, aren't these just the same cows 167 00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:46,536 that have always been here? 168 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,712 - Well, yes, but now we have a much higher clientele, 169 00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:50,279 you know, 170 00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:51,541 And all the rich people in other states 171 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,891 want a premium experience. 172 00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:56,111 Now we got influential people 173 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:58,113 coming in and out of here all the time. 174 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,115 They're saying cattle are gonna be a big factor 175 00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:02,073 in what happens in November. 176 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,554 Don't know what cows have to do with "Grand Theft Auto VI," 177 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:05,685 but whatever. 178 00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:07,252 - So then what about all the locals 179 00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:08,297 who can't afford the beef now? 180 00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:09,777 - Yeah, we're getting fucked! 181 00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,735 - Oh, see, that's what everyone's saying, 182 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:14,608 but we've still got some lower-cost inventory. 183 00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:17,566 How about Destiny here? 184 00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,003 She's a little older and leaner, 185 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,657 but comes at a lower price. 186 00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:23,921 What do you think, you wanna take Destiny back to VIP? 187 00:07:24,008 --> 00:07:25,445 - To VIP? 188 00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,403 - Yeah, you can take her back to VIP. 189 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:29,405 I'll set you up with some champagne. 190 00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:31,712 - Hell yeah, we'll go to VIP. 191 00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:42,200 ["Cherry Pie" by Warrant playing] 192 00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:45,769 - ♪ She's my cherry pie ♪ 193 00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:48,598 ♪ Cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise ♪ 194 00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:51,079 ♪ Tastes so good, make a grown man cry ♪ 195 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,690 ♪ Sweet cherry pie ♪ 196 00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:55,518 - Whoa! - Holy shit! 197 00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:59,609 - All right, that'll be $25,000. 198 00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:03,569 [jazzy music playing] 199 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:10,620 ♪ 200 00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:15,102 - Oh, yeah, that's a good steak-- 201 00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:16,626 [farts] Ah! 202 00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:20,848 - Uh, waiter? 203 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:22,153 - Yes, sir? 204 00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:23,677 - What is he having? 205 00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,374 - Oh, uh, I believe he's enjoying 206 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,550 the South American beef. 207 00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,247 It comes from a small patriotic town 208 00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,336 in the middle of the country. 209 00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:33,990 - Did he just explode with diarrhea? 210 00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:37,038 - It is more of a richer beef, yeah--little buttery. 211 00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:39,343 - Well, I'd like to get some of that. 212 00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,432 In fact, I think we all would. 213 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,827 - I'm so sorry, guys, but I think that was our last one. 214 00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,394 - What? 215 00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,438 - The South American beef is really popular. 216 00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:48,831 We just can't keep up with the demand. 217 00:08:48,832 --> 00:08:51,052 - Well, that's just ridiculous! 218 00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,837 I'm an American, and I'm very patriotic! 219 00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:56,274 Now, I want some South American beef, God damn it! 220 00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,060 - Mrs. Chris's! 221 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,410 Another table has demanded South American beef. 222 00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:03,847 - I know. I can't even get this rancher in Colorado 223 00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:05,414 to answer my calls! 224 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,068 - What are we supposed to do? 225 00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:08,808 - Ma'am, more people just walked out. 226 00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:10,941 Everyone's furious! 227 00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:13,509 - This South American beef was supposed to be a solution, 228 00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,075 not a crisis. 229 00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,512 Shut the restaurant down, 230 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:19,254 and everyone get ready to travel. 231 00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:22,083 If South America won't give us their cows, 232 00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:24,781 then we'll take them instead. 233 00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:47,108 [cow moos loudly] 234 00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:48,979 - Sir, please, 235 00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:51,242 can't you see that by exporting all our town's cattle, 236 00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:52,808 you're hurting us locals? 237 00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,811 - Sorry, boys, but I told ya, 238 00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:57,945 if you can't afford the beef, you can't afford the beef. 239 00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,382 - Do you have any idea how much school sucks? 240 00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:03,167 Our lunchtime is all we have. - Yeah! 241 00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:05,387 It's bad enough we have to deal with quizzes and homework, 242 00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:06,823 and our bitch moms-- 243 00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,172 fucking yapping, bitching all the time-- 244 00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,087 - Dad! 245 00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:11,436 Get--get over here. 246 00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:14,744 What are you doing? 247 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,093 - Well, I'm trying to get beef for the school-- 248 00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:18,618 - You're embarrassing me in front of my friends. 249 00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,880 - Oh, come on, Stan, we're just having fun. 250 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,447 - I'm not having fun! 251 00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:23,753 - You're not having fun? 252 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,930 [engines roaring] 253 00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:29,933 [dramatic music] 254 00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,979 ♪ ♪ 255 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,807 - We got a problem. 256 00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:36,678 There's a steakhouse here demanding more of our steaks. 257 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,115 - Is it Ruth's Chris's? 258 00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:39,639 - No, it's worse. 259 00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:42,075 Texas Roadhouse. 260 00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:44,165 They're completely Ruth-less. 261 00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:49,170 ♪ ♪ 262 00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:51,301 - Our customers are angry. 263 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:53,870 We need our South American beef now. 264 00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,003 - Look, I'm sorry, but we're just a little behind 265 00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,569 on production. 266 00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,615 - Yeah? Well, you better step it up! 267 00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:01,225 Like it or not, 268 00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:04,533 your cows have become more important than you can imagine. 269 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:09,581 ANNOUNCER: Live from affiliates all over America, 270 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,889 this is "Countdown to November." 271 00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:14,586 - November is just around the corner, 272 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,415 and many believe concerns over beef 273 00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:19,156 are going to play a critical part 274 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,028 in the fate of our country. 275 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:23,899 - People are furious, and they should be. 276 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,728 Everyone has a right 277 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:29,123 to delicious, juicy, South American beef. 278 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:32,300 And it's wrong that it isn't affordable to everyone. 279 00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,823 REPORTER: And what about some people who say 280 00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:36,173 you don't even eat South American beef, 281 00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:37,871 that you eat tofu? 282 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:41,003 - Well, that's ridiculous. I love South American beef. 283 00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,266 REPORTER: Well, that's great, because we have 284 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:45,008 some South American beef right here. 285 00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,270 - Oh. 286 00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,969 Actually, I just ate not that long ago. 287 00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:51,623 REPORTER: But you said you never turn it down. 288 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:58,500 Do you not like patriotic South American beef? 289 00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:01,895 - Of course I do. I love America. I-- 290 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:07,074 There we go. Mmm. I love me a-- 291 00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:08,858 [farts] Ah! 292 00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:14,255 [soft music] 293 00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:17,432 ♪ ♪ 294 00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:23,525 CARTMAN: ♪ Sloppy joes ♪ 295 00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:26,223 ♪ Sloppy, slop-- ♪ 296 00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:31,533 ♪ Sloppy joes ♪ 297 00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:34,797 - Chunk? 298 00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:38,192 What are you doing, Chunk? We can't just give up. 299 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:41,238 - What do you mean? It's over. 300 00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:44,024 - Yeah, face it, dude. We lost. 301 00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:46,417 - No, it's not over. 302 00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:49,072 We still have each other. 303 00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:51,205 And Goonies never say die. 304 00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,774 They have their world out there, 305 00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:57,037 but in here, this is our time. 306 00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,255 And if we can just-- 307 00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:00,083 - Stop talking to my friends 308 00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,477 like they're your friends. 309 00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:05,567 - I'm just saying, maybe we can rally all the students. 310 00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:08,048 You know, make a giant protest. 311 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:09,266 - When are you gonna realize 312 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,181 that nobody wants you around, Dad? 313 00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:15,882 - Oh. OK. 314 00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:18,101 Sorry. 315 00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:21,496 You know, Stan, be nice if you cut me some slack sometimes. 316 00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:24,281 All I'm doing is trying to connect with you. 317 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,370 - You are pretty rough on him, dude. 318 00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:27,893 - What? - Yeah, I get it. 319 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:30,244 Caring about something isn't cool. 320 00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:32,507 But--but maybe we can get some of the other kids 321 00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:35,031 to forget that and care a little bit. 322 00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:37,033 - Little Randy's right. 323 00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,687 We can't give up. 324 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:39,775 We gotta get everyone involved. 325 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,169 - No, you guys, this is done, OK? 326 00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:44,780 - OK, Stan, then we'll do it without you. 327 00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,262 The truth is, everyone's a little sick 328 00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,698 of your attitude. 329 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:58,620 ANNOUNCER: Live from our nation's capital, 330 00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:01,405 this is "Countdown to November." 331 00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,016 - November is looming, 332 00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:06,106 and beef prices are on everyone's mind. 333 00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:09,326 But some are trying to downplay its relevance. 334 00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:12,155 My guest is a wealthy CEO from Florida 335 00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,636 who says that the importance of beef is overrated. 336 00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:17,073 Is that what you think, sir? 337 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,509 REPUBLICAN: That's right, Mike. 338 00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:21,208 There's so many great proteins out there, you know? 339 00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:25,516 Like ground turkey and lentils. That's all I really eat. 340 00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:28,171 - You've never had South American beef? 341 00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:30,217 REPUBLICAN: No, no. What's the big deal? 342 00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:33,481 I mean, good lentils are just as rich and buttery as-- 343 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:36,788 - Sir, you look a little like you've had South American beef. 344 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:39,312 REPUBLICAN: Mike, a protein is a protein is a protein. 345 00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,793 Like some nice, juicy edamame. 346 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,360 My wife eats nothing but edamame every day. 347 00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:45,667 Isn't that right, honey? 348 00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:48,191 WIFE: Oh, yeah. Beef is too hard on the figure. 349 00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:49,889 I prefer edamame. 350 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,978 And my tits are real. 351 00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,240 REPUBLICAN: Your tits look great, honey. 352 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,503 WIFE: Oh, stop, you rascal. 353 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:58,114 KIDS: We want beef! We want beef! 354 00:14:58,245 --> 00:14:59,594 KYLE: All our local cows 355 00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:02,423 are being exported to high-end restaurants. 356 00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:05,555 And meanwhile, our school lunches suck more and more. 357 00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:06,514 ALL: Yeah! 358 00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:09,386 We want beef! We want beef! 359 00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:11,954 - So us dudes are asking all school kids 360 00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:14,564 to join us and fight for our beef. 361 00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:15,827 ALL: Yeah! 362 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,613 Little Randy! Little Randy! 363 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:22,573 Little Randy! Little Randy! Little Randy! 364 00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:23,834 - If we unite together, 365 00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:26,229 then we can fight these damn steakhouses. 366 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,971 [dramatic music] 367 00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:32,279 ♪ ♪ 368 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:36,587 RUTH: Beautiful speech, boys. Bravo. 369 00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:39,068 My name is Ruth Chris, 370 00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,591 and unfortunately, you have no idea 371 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,768 the forces you are meddling with. 372 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:48,295 This entire country is about to change. 373 00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:50,514 And if anyone is going to control your beef, 374 00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:53,126 you want it to be Ruth Chris's. 375 00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,955 We are taking control. 376 00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:58,392 - Mrs. Chriseseses, we have a problem. 377 00:15:58,479 --> 00:16:00,654 The South American cows have all just been hijacked 378 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:01,395 by Sizzler! 379 00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:03,049 - What? 380 00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:08,184 [gunfire] 381 00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,578 [mooing] 382 00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:18,889 [mooing] 383 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,414 - That's our sloppy joes! 384 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,942 [dramatic country music] 385 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,466 ♪ ♪ 386 00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:32,469 NARRATOR: What does a man owe the land? 387 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:34,341 November is coming. 388 00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:37,909 Time when people will show what they stand for. 389 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,607 And if there's one thing all Americans love, 390 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,566 it's a bullshit cowboy. 391 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,699 The kind that grew up in the suburbs 392 00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:47,353 but then bought a truck, threw on a cowboy hat, 393 00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:48,659 and ripped on city people 394 00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:50,574 while working out in their private gym. 395 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,750 The kind that fly to their vacation ranches 396 00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,186 for the weekend and then talk about 397 00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:56,450 how they're victims of the system. 398 00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:57,886 But if you want people 399 00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:00,758 to really believe your cowboy bullshit, 400 00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:03,935 nothing's more important than what you put on your plate. 401 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,807 South American beef is now available 402 00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:08,940 exclusively at Sizzlers. 403 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:13,467 It's about tradition, family, and loyalty. 404 00:17:13,554 --> 00:17:14,642 Go on. 405 00:17:14,772 --> 00:17:17,819 Prove who you are this November. 406 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:20,516 - Ah! 407 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:23,607 NARRATOR: Sizzler, because nothing says America 408 00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:27,481 like beef from South America. 409 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,534 - I don't know what to tell you folks. 410 00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:40,407 Sizzler done cleaned me out. 411 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:43,888 There ain't a cow left in town. 412 00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:46,761 - There has to be something we can do. 413 00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:49,242 We must have that beef. 414 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,548 - God damn it, lady, give it up already. 415 00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:53,984 You people already sucked our town dry of sloppy joes. 416 00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:56,336 What else do you want from us? 417 00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:59,643 - After all of this, you boys still think 418 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:02,820 it's just about the cows? 419 00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:05,171 [intriguing music] 420 00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,260 People don't care about the cows. 421 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,914 They care about this country. 422 00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:12,047 November is coming. 423 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:14,528 And everyone's freaking out because we have to choose 424 00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:17,878 who will be in charge when we're all dealing 425 00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:22,362 with something that we are not prepared for! 426 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,233 [sighs] 427 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,453 You wanna know the truth? 428 00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:29,369 Then it's time you saw the truth. 429 00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:33,286 A lot of good Americans died to smuggle this to us. 430 00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:36,680 Prepare yourselves. 431 00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,638 [upbeat music] 432 00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:39,901 Look at that. 433 00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:42,817 The graphics are seriously next level. 434 00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,601 You see the worldbuilding? 435 00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:45,907 [dog barks] 436 00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:48,170 It's a dog taking a poop. 437 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:51,652 And people can pick up the dog poop. 438 00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:55,482 You can throw things at the person with dog poop. 439 00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:58,049 And if they choose to fight back, 440 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,051 you can pick up the dog poop 441 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,664 and actually attack them with the dog poop. 442 00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:05,926 That... 443 00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:08,843 is what's coming in November. 444 00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,497 - Wow. 445 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,281 - Holy shit. 446 00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:15,110 - Dude, that game looks fucking tits. 447 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:18,113 [soft country music] 448 00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:25,251 ♪ ♪ 449 00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:32,562 - Boy, things are really gonna change in November, huh? 450 00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:35,130 - Yeah. 451 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:39,613 - Kinda puts a perspective on things. 452 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,310 - Yeah, it does. 453 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,967 - Stan, I'm sorry I've been intruding on your life. 454 00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:47,360 I guess I just saw an opportunity 455 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:50,362 to try and be closer to you, and I blew it. 456 00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:52,669 - No, I'm sorry, Dad. 457 00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:54,018 You didn't choose what happened to you, 458 00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,543 and I need to not yell at you all the time. 459 00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:59,110 - Guess all that bickering and fighting won't be worth much 460 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,375 when November comes around, huh? 461 00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:05,943 Things are really gonna change. I'm pretty excited. 462 00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:08,031 - Me too. 463 00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:09,164 - Seems a shame, though. 464 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:13,342 Not gonna have beef in the cafeteria. 465 00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:14,952 - Wait a minute. 466 00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:17,650 They said nobody even really cares about our cows. 467 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:21,176 - Yeah, it's just a battle over who's more patriotic. 468 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,396 - So then, this rancher could 469 00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,398 inject anything with lard and butter. 470 00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:28,705 - And people would be just as obsessed with it. 471 00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:30,620 - That's it! Dude, that's it! 472 00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:32,579 We can have all our cows back! 473 00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:35,668 Don't you see? It's the perfect solution, you guys. 474 00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:37,800 Mrs. Chriseses, you can have what you need, 475 00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:39,542 the rancher guy can still make money, 476 00:20:39,629 --> 00:20:40,977 and all us locals get to benefit 477 00:20:40,978 --> 00:20:44,112 from our own local beef. 478 00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:46,157 - My God, boys. 479 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:49,030 It just might work. 480 00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:51,119 [refined music] 481 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:52,338 - All right, everyone, 482 00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:54,687 we've got your patriotic meals right here. 483 00:20:54,688 --> 00:20:57,473 This is your lime-infused, South American, 484 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:00,476 flame-seared guinea pig on a stick. 485 00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:02,043 - Oh. - Oh. 486 00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:04,219 - We recommend you start with the stick purée 487 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:07,091 before moving on to the stick confit. 488 00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:09,876 And the chef has shaved the guinea pig's pussy 489 00:21:09,877 --> 00:21:12,445 into a nice little landing strip. 490 00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:16,753 OK, enjoy your South American meal. 491 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,277 [whispering] OK, go. Go, go, go, go. 492 00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:20,888 - Well, it looks like a patriotic dish. 493 00:21:20,975 --> 00:21:22,236 [farts] Ah! 494 00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:23,891 - Oh, I love it. 495 00:21:23,978 --> 00:21:24,892 [farting] I really--ah! 496 00:21:24,979 --> 00:21:27,460 - [grunting] 497 00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:28,896 [muffled] It's absolutely delicious. 498 00:21:28,983 --> 00:21:30,376 [farts] Ah! 499 00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:33,509 [farting and screaming]